Surviving the “Big C”
It’s now been two years since the end of my treatment for breast cancer. It has been quite the ride… I’ve learned a lot and I am definitely a stronger person as a result.
At the time I was diagnosed, I was your run-of-the-mill workaholic: I lived my life at 100 mph, was involved in far too many activities, had a fast-paced, high-stress job (who doesn’t!!) and thought nothing of surviving on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Sleeping-in on a Saturday or Sunday meant 6:45 am instead of 5:45 am and believe me, I was doing just fine, full of life, energy… The news of my cancer brought an abrupt halt to my living life at break neck speed. You might say, I hit the proverbial Brick Wall!
I wasn’t afraid at hearing the diagnosis, death is after all, part of life; but I was sure annoyed by this change taking place in my life. After all, I still had places to go, people to meet, things to do and definitely no time to spare being ill. This cancer news was definitely cramping my style!
Of course, all sorts of things started happening in a huge rush once the diagnosis was confirmed…more tests and medical appointments and meetings with more doctors than I knew existed … and reading, and learning and finding my way through this new world… and, getting used to saying, ‘I have cancer.’ It was actually my surgeon who brought that reality to bear from the moment of our first meeting. His intention was more than well-meaning; he was in truth helping me understand that I was now in the cancer world and there was no going back to the ‘before cancer’ world. I would never again live in the other world; I was now a person living with cancer and the sooner I made this my new reality, the sooner I would begin to heal and live the life I had left to live. His words were a blessing to receive because they have shaped my on-going perspective of how to face this challenge: I face it with grace, courage and huge amounts of humour. This is my commitment to myself.
However, at the time of my diagnosis, there was also incredible sadness and personal loss. My cousin was coming to the end of her life, having fought first breast cancer, and then ovarian cancer throughout the previous 12 years. She passed the day following my pre-op, Christmas Eve 2005. I felt such emptiness and loss and for days, I was numb. Many people felt that my grief was for myself, but it was not for me that I felt such sorrow. It was for my cousin whose life ended far too soon…
In terms of actual medical data, I have invasive ductal carcinoma, stage 3, grade 3. It had moved into the lymph nodes and 30 were removed at the time of the mastectomy. Six were positive for cancer. Eight rounds of chemo were scheduled and I agreed to become part of a clinical trial. I was on a dose-dense protocol and so chemo was every two weeks. In order to ensure that my system could continue to handle this intense treatment, I was prescribed with support drugs to maintain first my white blood cell count and then my red blood cells. These did the trick as they were meant to do and I went through the eight rounds without fail. There were a number of side effects which continue to this day but that’s another story for another day!
Radiation followed, 25 rounds, given daily and there too, I agreed to join a clinical study post treatment. This study is looking into the toxicity of radiation on other organs, in my case, my right lung.
I believe so strongly in giving back to the medical world so that others following me may benefit just as I have surely benefited from those who have gone before me. This is my reason for taking part in clinical trials.
As a precaution and based on family history, I opted to have a second mastectomy six months following radiation. This was done as a day surgery, a fact that many people are a bit taken aback by but I was just as happy to be at home, taking care of myself with the assistance of home care.
I want to add that I have been blessed with the medical team under whose care I am. Each and every one is dedicated to making my life as meaningful and as long as possible and for this, I am eternally grateful. At each check-up, every six months, I am reminded how far I have come, one day at a time, each a gift.
I could not possibly have come through this without the strength and courage of my friends whose calls, cards, best wishes and endless kindnesses made my journey so much brighter. No one can survive this alone, nor should anyone be alone through such a life-altering experience. Again, I am blessed in my friends and to each I say a heartfelt Thank you!… and then, there are my Borzoi whose love is unconditional, whose wet-nose kisses are never-ending, whose presence in my life is my centre, my world. Bless them for their beautiful souls and endless love.
I am Blessed in all I have and I am thankful too for the opportunity to live through this and in so doing, come to a greater understanding of who I am and find a depth of courage and strength to draw from. It doesn’t get any better than this!
I wish you all well, and a lifetime of wellness!
Sincerely in Pink!
Rita
A year ago I was returning to my home after spending six weeks in the city where I could get radiation treatments five days a weeek for six weeks. As it was a 7-hour round trip to the radiation center, it made more sense to stay with my daughter in the city than trek back and forth each day.
That was a good decision, as the treatment center was 10 minutes from my daughter’s house, and took about 10 minutes from the time I got there to the time I left. Then I had the rest of the day — to stop at the farmer’s market for fresh produce a couple of times a week, to have a massage a couple of times a week, to go to physical therapy, to eat well, and to take naps. Sounds self-indulgent, doesn’t it! But taking care of myself was the most important thing I could do at that time, and I feel very fortunate that I was able to do that.
I found a complimentary therapies program at a hospital where I was able to (at no charge) get an acupuncture session, have healing touch therapy, and access a good library of information for breast cancer patients and survivors.
I was also working (telecommuting) and able to keep my job, which was critical because of the employer’s group health insurance.
Returning home and going back to work was more of a challenge than I expected. Partly it was due to the “after treatment – now what?” stage that I had not expected. Fortunately, there are books and support groups that identify and help us through this unexpected turn of events.
Today I am celebrating my birthday, just a year after finishing radiation treatment, and 2 weeks after the latest biopsy which was negative. My 3-month checkups have all resulted in “no evidence of disease,” which wasn’t a satisfactory answer for me the first time I got it, and is now my continuing goal.
Best wishes to you!
By: lanezen on September 9, 2008
at 7:14 pm